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But he also said that if you want to,he won't say no." Only the twinkle in her eyes gave me any hope she wasteasing."Well that's not going to happen," I said with as much confidence as Icould muster. Unfortunately, it sounded hollow when it came out. StillI went on. "First of all, I'm not gay, and second, there's no way Iwould cheat on you. I haven't and I won't." I know sweetie, and I trust you," she said patting my knee in what Ithought was a rather condescending way. But aren't you in the least bitcurious?"Actually, I was curious; it was something I had first considered not longafter I discovered my inner girl. But there was no way I was going toadmit that! Instead I lied brazenly. "No. I'm not. I've seen hundredsof men undressed in locker rooms and I never once felt the least littlebit of attraction to any of them. Women turn me on, especially you!" Atleast that was true!"Oh you're so sweet," Rebecca replied, this time sounding like she meantit. Then she clinched the. Everyone knows about the Wuzard. The Wuzard acts on everyone’s behalf. Everything that happens here in Yuppie town and everywhere else that counts has to be approved by the Wuzard. You oughta know that. Liberty was offended. LIBERTY: I didn’t come from a corn field you know. I come from New York City. NADER (impressed): New York City. Oh. Well that explains it. LIBERTY: So how do I get to the Wuzard? NADER: It’s a long, twisted way you have to go, poor child. You wouldn’t happen to have any money with you, would you? LIBERTY: No NADER: Too bad. That’s a problem. It’s really hard to get to the Wuzard without money these days. That’d have been a great help. I used to take the grass roots route but I ran out of grass back in the eighties. Do you have any grass? I could sure use a hit or two. (Nader asks hopefully) LIBERTY: Grass? You mean marijuana? Of course not, I’m a good girl. I stand for truth and freedom and liberty. Marijuana rots your teeth and funds evil heathen terrorists..
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